Thursday, February 28, 2013


I like to read. Sometimes I don't take time to read as much as I'd like. Other times, I feel guilty about "just sitting and reading" rather than being outside and doing something "productive." So, I try to find a happy-medium to my reading times. I have read several interviews from some of my favorite authors, over the years, and have always been a bit curious when they talk about the writing process. I am always surprised to read that while they have an outline and supportive materials and research to back-up their outlines, they don't usually know, with absolute certainty, how their characters are going to come to life within the pages of their books.

As I opened this page to write a post, I have no idea what the heck I'm going to write...I could tell you about Haime's recent oral surgery, but there's not much to tell other than, if the ability to follow recovery instructions were a test of one's survival abilities or part of some test for advancement, Haime would never be allowed to leave the house without being completely encased in a giant bubble! You see, in addition to the normal "do's and don'ts" that you'd expect, Haime was instructed to "not talk." WHAT?! Haime not talk? HA! Haime talks ALL THE TIME! (OK, he doesn't really talk in his sleep, all the time). Haime talks to the television, to the dog, to himself, to me, or just to hear himself talk. You know those "companionable silences" that Hollywood sometimes identifies in movies or that we find ourselves in with most of our close friends and relatives? Haime and I don't have those...he is just never silent. So, he talked to me, to the attendant who wheeled him out to the car, to the radio, to the traffic, to the...OK, you get the picture. All that was just on the way home. The only time he was actually quiet was when he was knocked unconscious from the pain meds...he was encouraged to take pain meds...he was a very happy Haime. 

Then again, I could tell you about a funeral I attended today. The funeral was for the wife of one of the most honorable men I know. I had the privilege of working with Mike for about 3 1/2 years. He is honest, dedicated, a gentleman, a scholar, trustworthy and one of those truly good men. He and Belinda were married for over 39 years. According to Mike, the reason their marriage survived his years in the military; and the pain of losing a daughter, their only child, to cancer; and the "stupid things" that he sometimes did; was because Belinda would have it no other way. 

Belinda developed breast cancer. 

She and I went to lunch a couple of months ago and I had a wonderful time with her. We talked a little bit about her disease but mostly, we talked about her support systems. She talked about how her sister was her constant. She said that her sister either came to visit her and do things for her everyday or, at the very least, phoned several times during the day to see if there was anything she could do for Belinda. Belinda also talked about Mike. She said, you know, Mike is not the easiest man to live with. According to Belinda, Mike is very particular about (almost) everything and has very specific expectations about (almost) everything. BUT, Mike was her rudder, her anchor, and the love of her life. She talked about how gentle and loving and caring he was for her. They were more than a team, they were a unit. 

Today's funeral was beautiful and moving and terrible and wonderful, all at the same time. One other thing that Belinda and I talked about at lunch, however, helped me get through it. She talked about a support group that she attended and that one of the leaders of the group had asked her if she was in need of any anti-depressant medication. Belinda said she asked why she would and was told that some people with cancer contemplate suicide as they fight the disease. Belinda, a woman of such strength and faith said, "I lost my daughter to this disease and I know she is in heaven. I live my life in such a way that I know I will see my daughter again, no, I do not need any anti-depressants." WOW! Heaven welcomed an angel home.

I think that's all I want to write about for now. 

Please tell all those you love, that you love them every chance you get.

Until next time, 

I love you.

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