Monday, September 15, 2014

The Dad He Didn't Have To Be...

I've been considering writing topics and discarding them for several weeks. The past few months have become filled with details related to some volunteer projects that I've either agreed to take on, or have reluctantly fallen into. The "worker bee" part of my being is actually thrilled with these tasks which range from mundane to challenging depending on the hour of the day and the project of the moment.

Last night, I settled on a topic that is actually quite timely and perhaps a bit overdue. Haime's birthday is on Wednesday. This is a significant one...of course, Haime will tell you that every birthday past the 35th one is significant, he's probably right. Anyway, with this anniversary of his debut, he is seeming to change his normally maudlin view of September 17. In fact, he informed me that he wanted to go to dinner for his birthday rather than quietly enduring a small "celebration" at home with family.
 I've never written much about Haime nor about our relationship. In short, if you put our individual characteristics on paper, most people would never imagine that our relationship would work... In many respects, we are POLAR opposites! We typically vote for people from different parties, we listen to different music, we even like different types of dogs, LOL!  I suffer from horrible bouts of Wanderlust and Haime is happy being a home-body. I am spontaneous and am always up for an adventure while Haime likes to know what's going to happen, but not more than about a week prior to the event, more than that and he has too much time to worry and fret about the unknowns that might crop up.  I have a wicked sense of humor, I tell jokes and sarcasm is my favorite tool against the evils of logic and cold hard facts.  While he has a sense of humor, Haime does not tell jokes well and has been known to unintentially hurt feelings when he tries to do so. I love to work with my hands, woodworking/furniture making, gardening, and building. Haime likes to play golf and gamble, video poker and astronomy. I read and Haime watches television.
However, in spite of our differences, we have a fabulous relationship! Haime and I have been together for about twenty-three years. Like most successful relationships, we check a lot of boxes for each other, we are friends, lovers, critics and cheerleaders for each other. We enjoying being together but we allow each other the space to pursue our individual hobbies and interests. Haime is an amazing individual. He sees the good in nearly everyone. He does not speak badly of others and considers people forever friends.
When we started dating, Haime was concerned about my young sons. His own children were raised with a step-father and he felt that the step-dad took too much of Haime's place in his children's world. He was concerned about doing that to another father. As our relationship grew, Haime soon realized that while my sons have a father, they did not have a dad. Haime became their dad. He loves them, supports them, and has given them opportunities to grow to be the men they are today. He made them his own. He takes pride in speaking about them and refers them as "our sons" or as "my sons." Mallory and Chelsea, the loves of my sons' lives, are always amazed about how much each of my son's sound and act like Haime. He continues to be a role model, now for the next generation in the family, our grandson, Carter. He is the doting grandfather and is always looking for the next opportunity for us to have a "sleepover" with Carter, (of course maybe that's because he knows his chances of getting ice cream improve greatly when Carter is with us!)
So, on paper, we might not work, but in real life, we definitely do!
Felize cumpleanos Haime, te amo mucho mi vida, ...

No comments:

Post a Comment